Housewives and Partners, Mothers and Parents

Posted by Tigritza

If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the way to this woman's heart seems to be through her partner.

And the "Partners Club" at Penn's business school (which I sometimes call the "Housewives Club" - just to tease Tasha, of course) figured that out this month with an interesting marketing strategy:

A handwritten postcard, just for Tasha! With no mention of even my name! Just to welcome her to Penn, even though we haven't even said Yes to them yet. It made her so happy and got her so excited!...which in turn made me really happy with Penn. They said they were excited to meet her and would love to have her, and the whole script was 100% gender-neutral. Admittedly, it's probably a semi-prepared script that's written specifically so that it can be used for Boys and Girls both, but still, it managed to reinforce in my mind that Penn's the place to be. Every day, I feel better and better about choosing Penn, and safer and happier about choosing Penn for us.

There's a "Welcome Weekend" coming up, and my business school's LGBT group is taking Tasha and me out to show us the gay scene, introduce us around and welcome us. "Sure, what's the big deal?", you may ask. "They want D-i-v-e-r-s-i-t-y, and you're it."

But if anything, the MBA application process has only highlighted for me how different Penn seems to be from other top-notch East-Coast universities.

Just for example - when I applied to Penn's program, I came across this page in the application:

But four other top-ten schools had a version of this page:

(If you didn't notice the difference between the two, please, never stop reading this blog!)

From my "newly engaged and gay" perspective, the difference is startling. I can't believe I didn't notice things like this five years ago - now they all but burn a hole through my head. How can universities - Graduate schools, even - actively recruit LGBT couples, but force a "father" and "mother" response on their business school application? When Tasha and I have kids, what are our kids going to fill out in a form like this? Which boxes will our names go in? Will one of us be forced into the "father" box? Or is one of us supposed to be excluded from the form?

When I told someone about this a few months ago, she replied: "But your children won't have two mothers. They'll have one REAL mother, and one REAL father. Right? I mean one of you won't really be the mother." Hurtful? Yep. Disheartening? You bet. And that's what all these other top-notch universities are saying to the 'Diversity' candidates they're trying to recruit.

Really? It's 2011. Thanks, Penn, for recognizing us - I can't wait to start my MBA with you. I guess a little respect - and recognition - sure goes a long way.