Wet Toes

Posted by Tigritza

So, Tasha's last post (posted yesterday - "And We're Back!") wasn't the first time she'd mentioned her fear of rain and wet feet on the wedding day. I guess you could say she's kind of a rainophobe. In fact, she's been bringing this up for quite a while - ever since we first even thought about the possibility of getting married.

I did a quick search for "wet toes" in my Gmail inbox, and came upon this goofy email chain from June 2009. 2009!! That was a year and a half ago! (Just over 2 years into our relationship.) It was probably the first time we'd thought seriously about possibly getting married one day in the very distant future, and we'd brought up the idea of getting married on an April 13th (which is the day we first met in 2007, on a Friday.) Immediately following that conversation, Tasha had no doubt begun worrying about the possibility of rain. And the following string of emails ensued...enjoy!

It's funny how this random conversation of all these hypothetical issues has materialized into the same actual issues that we're legitimately worrying about now - not much has changed!

Email chain on June 24, 2009. Subject: wedding planner.

Tasha at 2:55pm:
There is a "wedding planner" tab at the weather.com site... So I looked at April 13th __ average high is 59 F and average low is 38 F... I dont want a cold weathered wedding... I want it to be 75ish!

What do you think grasshopper?

~Tasha

Tigritza at 2:59pm:
I am confused, which year did you look at? I am confused. Would we potentially be getting married in 2012? That is a Friday. 2013 is a Sunday...what did we decide???

Tasha at 3:01pm:
silly! I looked at average temp over the years!
It wont change much ... not sure what year we are getting married tiger!

Tigritza at 3:02pm:
cmon what do you mean you're not sure!! we thought about this!! Cmonnnnn

i think 2012 because:
then the people who dont care wont come = smaller wedding
venue etc will be cheaper than a weekend wedding
it's friday the 13th! = cool

on the other hand, we would have to give people lots of notice to ensure that they take a day off work :)

Tasha at 3:05pm:
baby... im not talking about the year here! hmph
Yes, I think 2012 is much better... and of course we can give good notice... we will be planning this quite a bit in advance!

But my email's purpose was to alarm you of the cold weather!

COLD is not my thing! :(

what are your thoughts about the WEATHER!?

Tigritza at 3:11pm:
I know your purpose but evidently we got sidetracked on a much more important issue.

Anyway, I am sure you looked at the weather in Rockland in 2012 (ok ok in April, whatever) and quite frankly I do not care about the weather in Rockland because we are not getting married in Rockland.

Now I know you are thinking well it's going to be cold 100 miles from Rockland too! And to that I will say well are we getting married in NY? And then you will beat me up and say YES WE ARE and I'll say okay okay then in that case don't be so close-minded!

There are outdoor heaters that work wonderfully under a canopy (they trap in the heat sooo well) and bars use them on rooftops and stuff. And worst case we could have the wedding in like a gazebo that is heated from the inside.

Now go on google and look up what is a gazebo. Then tell me what do you think? :)

Tasha at 3:21pm:
Baby... the other thing that scares me... is this: the rain... you know how depressed I get when it rains... it ruins everything... and April is the month of RAIN.
it will ruin my hair and my dress and I'll have gooosebumps... I want it to be sunny and beautiful and warm and I like the idea of the gazebo/greenhouse thing but I want it to be WARM!
I want people to wear summery stuff

Also, if we have an outdoor wedding in April, we better have the Hindu fire thing set up! ... and a Jewish Hupa!

Also, we will have to take thursday off too (to prepare).
I'm really excited about thursday night -- the night before our wedding... i can't wait!

Tigritza at 3:24pm:
hahahahhaa
oh honey
planning ahead are we!

anyway stop worrying and complaining. you want to have a wedding anniversary in hot july every year, then just say the word! hmpf.

people dont think about the weather when picking wedding clothing. plus do we really have to do the jewish hindu stuff so extremely? i think it might be overkill. lets just think of a nice classy simple way to combine them - nothing too elaborate.

also, after thursday night, i dont think you have to worry about whether or not you'll have messy hair. i guarantee you it'll look pretty kooky after i'm done with you!

Tasha at 3:31pm:

oof
I dont want a wedding in july but early june would be nice... (I do really want an April 13th wedding... but it might SNOW! I just hate the cold!)

about clothing... are you serious!? I'm thinking about clothing right now! I might have to wear leggings under my dress! Do you want an extra layer of clothing to take off when we go home for the first time (as a married couple)!?
And hindu/judaism overkill might be too much yes. ok we will plan that in more detail later... (I dont really care about the hoopa but I do want some traditional jewish dancing... where they sit us on chairs and dance circles around us as some people hold the chairs up (do you know waht i'm talking about?)

and baby, im not worried about what you will do to my hair on Thursday night because early Friday morning I'm getting my hair done! Duh! :)

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Tigritza at 3:34pm:
i am SAYING that even the hairdressers will not know what to do with such a kooky mess!

Tasha at 3:36pm:
you are a kooky mess!

and you better not make me oversleep my hair appt!

Tigritza at 3:39pm:
anyway, we are not supposed to be together on the night before the wedding. i am not supposed to see you on the wedding day until the actual wedding!!!!

Tasha at 3:40pm:
o crap

so nothing the night before?
that's awful... where will i go? wont we be living together?

Tigritza at 3:44pm:
haha you volunteered to be the one to go! Yay

Tasha at 3:45pm:
hahhahahah

I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you

Tasha, again, at 3:53pm:
Things I'm worried about:
- picking the perfect ring
- asking your parent's permission
- RAIN
- color of our bridesmaids dresses (sari or dress? ah!)
- color scheme of the decor
- the cake melting in the rain or freezing in the snow
- what my nails will look like (french manicur... but short enough)
- open toe shoes or closed toe?
- where are we going for our honey moon -- and when? leaving that weekend? (YES)
- bachlorette parties (i dont really want one... I have no friends)
- wedding vows... I have to write something witty and lovey? not my forte

... that's a bit of a list there... maybe I should worry about getting a job first

Tigritza at 4:03pm:
Okay, here are your answers little one:
- picking the perfect ring ---- Just dont make it too simple/boring. Ask JC for confirmation when you pick one.
- asking your parent's permission ---- don't be worried. I'm worried about your parents. They will laugh or shoot me.
- RAIN ----gazebo/canopy/greenhouse! it'd be scarier if it was June because then we wouldn't plan for any shelter from cold and if it rained then we'd be all out in the open and vulnerable
- color of our bridesmaids dresses (sari or dress? ah!) ---- maybe normal dresses or some sort of fusion style that isnt too elaborate, because then the two of us stand out?
- color scheme of the decor ---- please not red-and-white. we will be red-and-white (red sari and white dress), the rest of the wedding doesnt need to be. it's ok - we have friends with fashion sense and color-scheme sense.
- the cake melting in the rain or freezing in the snow ---- i am going to HIT you
- what my nails will look like (french manicur... but short enough) ---- manicurE yes. but yes short enough. i mean let's just get straight to the point - you're not going to be fooling anyone with long nails.
- open toe shoes or closed toe? ----open. duh!
- where are we going for our honey moon -- and when? leaving that weekend? (YES) ----yes that weekend. as long as it's not some beach honeymoon i'm happy.
- bachlorette parties (i dont really want one... I have no friends) ---- YES! you have friends you dumbo. the only problem is that friends overlap. LZ can attend your party maybe, but she cannot have a starring role.
- wedding vows... I have to write something witty and lovey? not my forte ---- aw man i hate cheesy shit like personalized vows.

Tasha at 4:39pm:
My responses to your answers::
-gimme JC's phone number :)
-why are you asking my parents' permission? I'm asking yours!!!
-yes yes gazebo/canopy... then we nee extra loud microphone since the rain will be so loud ... noone will hear anything!
-color of dresses? Just had an idea when you siad "maybe a fusion style"... MAGIC DRESS!
-color scheme of decor... definitely not red and white... how about light lavendar and yellow or light green or light orange (but def lavendar cuz of the flowers!)
-the cake freezing or melting in severe weather conditions - you didn't answer my problem
-manicurE - fine, problem solved
-open toe shoes.... what if my toes get wet - you know how I hate that...
-honeymoon gettaway - to be planned
-bachlorette parties... I dont know about this! I'll have MH plan mine! :) And CS!!!
-wedding vows- are you saying we wont have wedding vows? How will we say the I do part?
hmph

Tigritza at 4:46pm:
my comebacks to your responses:

-You want JC’s number? you're buying the ring NOW???
-well dont i have to ask your parents something or somebody has to run it by them at least!
-there is NOT going to be loud rain i mean for heavens sake for the LAST TIME enUFFF about this RAIN!
-color of dresses? ok but we'd have to really pin those magic dresses on good because i dont want one of them coming loose and stealing my thunder or getting my wife excited!
-yea maybe lavenDER would be nice...hmmm lets talk about it later not now i dont want to.
-ONCE AGAIN THERE IS NO MELTING OR FREEZING CAKE goodness enough about this nonsense! it will be the cake caterers job to protect the cake at all times and anticipate any conditions that might ruin the cake, that is what we are paying them for, if i wanted my wife to worry about that i would just pay her instead HMPF
-manicurE -okay then if the problem is solved WHY IS THIS STILL ON THE LIST
-if your toes get wet POOP on that! you will dress for the wedding pictures not for the weather! and enUP about this raiN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-honeymoon gettaway - yes the getaway must be planned *finger on nose* NOT ME!
-bachlorette parties... FUN! :)
-How will we say the I do part? ---- like this: "I DO. hmpf!"

Tasha at 4:56pm:
I have tears dripping down my face from all the laughing!!!!
my goodness... how do you keep a straight face at work? aren't you suppposed to be pretending to be busy?

double comebacks:

-Just gimme JC's number NOW!
-something has to run it by them!? what will that something be? o boy, another problem... but I believe the original one was how the hell will I ask your parents! (STILL WORRIED)
-no rain? Are you sure!? Are we still having a wedding in April because April is nick-named "the shower month" (and not cuz everyone showers, but because it RAINS!)
-yes pin it on good (what color tho!?) -- it's pretty hard to find a pretty magic dress!
-ok lets not talk about the lavenDER and color scheming
-so now I'm gettting money to worry about the cake? I'm confuzed... I dont want to be responsible! And how much are you insuring the cake for?
-manicurE - take this off the list... the problem is solved!
-I am not dressing for the pictures! I'm dressing for the event... maybe I should buy two pairs of shoes -- one for the rain and one for the sunshine? .... oh and what about snow?
-honeymoon gettaway NOT FAIR! We are planning this together! HMPH
-bachlorette parties... yes fun ok pine
-Tigritza, if you say "I DO HMPHFFF" on our wedding day, I am throwing my wet shoes in your face! You better take that hmphhhfff out of there! HMPH!

The View From The 70th Floor

Posted by Tigritza

I feel so high. Literally, several stories into the sky.

Exactly four days after Tasha proposed to me, my enormous proposal plan kicked into gear. (She beat me to it by four days!!) I was still going through with it - after all, I had to give her the ring somehow! - and my plan involved 13 hours of treasure-hunting, across two cities, with fifteen friends meeting her individually along the way! I gave her a brand new Kodak Playsport video camera to take along, and she faithfully documented *almost* the whole thing. It went off without a hitch - incredible. She finally met me at the very top of the Top of the Rock in New York, and as she took in the breathtaking view of our city at night, I played for her a song that I'd written in December 2007 - changing the ending to fit this moment.

That's where the high started - turning in circles, smiles so wide and fingers so cold, our eyes locked on each other's eyes as I played out our song note by note, 70 stories above our city! ...And then, of course, the ring. I had seen the ring a year ago (with her), a gorgeous design in cheap silver, being sold at a 70% discount in a Midtown family jeweler's store. I ran back to the store the next day and bought it for $300! A few months ago, I asked Little King to re-create the ring in white gold, with a stunning diamond to top it off. Perfectly symmetrical (just the way she likes it), and dreamily swooshy. She's crazy about it!

And after that night...the metaphorical express elevator took off! Things moved so quickly, so much was happening, and it felt like I was rushing higher and higher up into some kind of dream. First were the easy floors -

Telling everyone, again: 3rd floor. Watching her parents watch the video and "get" us: Leap-frog to 13th floor. Engagement presents - dinners, cakes, champagne, facebook, emails, phone calls, screams and hugs and kisses: 17th floor. Awkward "Why did I have to find out through facebook?" messages from distant friends...16th floor. Worrying that extended family may somehow find out through facebook: 15th floor.

But then on to the higher floors - (no turning back now!)

Appraisal of the rings (we weren't ripped off? whew!): 19th floor. Insurance of rings (i don't have to freak out about losing it? --on second thought, I'll still do that.): 21st floor. Last day of work in 2010: 23rd floor. Two very successful business school interviews: 27th floor. Jetting off to a family vacation in England with my parents, sister and brother-in-law: 30th floor. Finding out I got into my top MBA program, and that we'll both be grad students in Philly this fall (!!!): 35th floor. Starting to make a guest list: 38th floor. New Year's Eve at our home, with my unbelievably beautiful fiancee: 41st floor.

...after that, I kind of expected the highs to level off.

But the elevator kept screeching on up. And from my bird's-eye view, I could suddenly see much farther out. Being so ridiculously high brought on a strange feeling of vertigo.

Where the hell are we going to have this wedding?: 44th floor.

HOW the hell are we going to have this wedding? Bridesmaids or bridesdudes, who walks down the aisle first, chuppah or fire, sari or dress, Indian food or Russian food?: 54th floor.

For most of this stuff, the "easy" (if you can call it that) solution is to have both. Bridesmaids AND bridesdudes. Sari AND wedding dress. Indian food AND Russian food. But...chuppah and fire? Walking down the aisle together? Really?

And then there was more...Suddenly everything that happens in my life affects not just me, but Us. This sounds silly - my life has been affecting Our life for a long time. But now there was another filter tacked onto my 'perspective': newly engaged, upcoming wedding, soon to be Married. Oh, the implications...

Needing to hide my engagement soon for legal reasons: Teetering on the 59th floor. Applying for a Bahamas visa, and seeing the "Single Or Married?" question - a lot harder to answer next time if I'm married but not recognized! 62nd floor. Dreading telling my extended family, and their potentially shunning my parents due to my lifestyle: 64th floor. Realizing my meager savings cover 25% of one year's worth of business school living costs, and we now have two Masters' degrees and one wedding to pay for: 66th floor.

But most of all, seeing active federal laws that still codify discrimination .... *ping!* 70 floors up.

I feel so high. So happy, dizzy with joy when I look at my fiancee making breakfast on a Sunday morning. But so scared about the law, so scared of our vulnerability, so scared about how we'll create this wedding, so scared of tipping over the edge and falling down 70 stories...is this all too good to be true? One thing I know for sure - I'm in love, she's in love, and my days are blurry and my world is dreamy.

All I can say is, I'm so excited to find out what happens next.

She said YES

Posted by Tasha

Well... sort of. I was down on one knee in Grand Central Station and she just stared at me with her jaw dropped to the floor completely speechless! So I said, "Tigritza, say YES" and so she did... she said "Yes"

Alright so here's the inside scoop:

About 2 years ago she took me to this place at Grand Central Station where there are 4 corners (kinda like an intersection of 4 roads) and if you face one corner and talk into it, the person in the diagonal corner will hear you clearly! It's called "whispering walls" or something like that. So two years ago she said to me "go face that wall" and I was like NOO I'm not crazy, it's New York, I'm not going to talk into some wall... and then she said "Do you trust me?" and it was kind of a pivotal moment in our relationship (at least in my opinion) because I realized I trusted her more than anybody else and I have never lost that. Alright so back to the proposal: Dec 1, 2010... I tricked her by getting her into that spot but dragging her to some cheese market (totally worked) and as we kept walking past the Grand Central Market (with delicious cheese we just bought), she saw the place and said "o cool this is the talking walls spot" and I said "o yea! wanna try it again" and of course she said yes. While she was facing the opposite wall i asked her if she trusted me and then she said yes and then I said i love you and ran over before i heard the reply and then got down on one knee with the ring in my hand... and well... that's when her mouth dropped! She was completely surprised. It was really perfect! So now we're engaged!

I don't mean to brag but seriously the ring looks absolutely beautiful on her. I couldn't be any happier! And she loves it - it's the ring she saw a year ago in a shop window in Dubai and said that is her dream ring. I told her I'd get one just like it one day -- but I got that exact ring - made some changes at a cute little jeweler "Little King" in NY, and voila - we've got the perfect ring.

Now that we're engaged, we thought it would be a good idea to start this blog to track our adventures of wedding planning. I say "adventures" because I have not been able to find a wedding similar to the one we will have so I know we'll come across a few challenges.

And that's because we'll have a Hindu Jewish Russian Lesbian Wedding!

Setting all complexities aside, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world - I get to spend the rest of my life with the most incredible person - beautiful, witty, intelligent, funny and most importantly - I'm completely in love with her and she couldn't possibly be more in love with me.