Posted by Tasha
Alright, so you noticed it's been a while since we've updated last... yes, over 2 months without a post! We will do our best to catch you up! It's been a busy couple of months and I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that in exactly 3 weeks, I'll be married. And if I'm being completely honest, what I mean by that: in exactly 3 weeks, all the planning, worrying, and organizing will all melt into one day of awesomeness.
I CANNOT WAIT!
And I finally understand why brides-to-be get so anxious at the end of the planning and say "I wish it was my wedding day already." It's quite simple, actually, but I didn't really understand it until now. We want the planning to end. I can't believe there are people out there who are married wedding planners! How is that possible?
An update to catch you up: In the last few months, we've actually been able to finalize a few things.
-Food: both Indian and Russian - it's about time that it's confirmed
-Cake: taste testing was way more fun than I imagined - delicious and beautiful and confirmed
-DJ: he has our list of 'dos' and 'don'ts' and our schedule of events (speeches, first dance) confirmed
-Ceremony: script has been written and perfected. Officiant is confirmed
-Photographers: and photobooth - sure to be a hit at the wedding, sooo confirmed
-Rentals: plates, linens, lighting, draping, etc - expensive as hell, but confirmed
-Rehearsal dinner: Italian anyone? mmm confirmed
-Hair appointments: lets throw in the make-up too... confirmed
-Hotels: booked and of course: confirmed
-Wedding Bands: Tigritza's not home, so I'm wearing mine now! ssshhh... gorgeous and confirmed
-Alcohol: open bar with extra ... we can't run out, it's a Russian wedding! confirmed
-Flowers: all the jars collected and dropped off. very confirmed
-Seating chart: basically done (crazy fun doing this on PowerPoint), we have all our guests confirmed!
-Henna Party: thanks to Tigritza's sister, it's gonna be confirmed
So, what's left you ask?
-Best people clothing: there have been a few hiccups along the way, but we'll iron it all out for the big day. I have to make poetry out of this, otherwise where's the bliss? Tigritza, do not edit this out, or I will shout!
-String quartet for the ceremony: can't honestly put "confirmed" on this as they are a bunch of college kids who aren't so reliable, but they have been booked.
-Crafts: an ongoing project - we'll post about this separately. We had an INCREDIBLE craft day with some local friends - more details to come.
-First dance: we've moved the table in our living room so we have extra space to practice... it's going to be the best first dance EVER - as long as I don't fall! Tigritza, don't step on my toes!
-Huppah: Lucky to have my Dad build it and my friend decorate it. Can't wait to see how it comes together. Should see the final product in a week.
-And finally, find a place to put all the gifts that have been coming in!
Doesn't seem so bad huh?
Stay tuned, we've deprived you from our posts, so you're about to experience posting overdose in the next 3 weeks :)
Showing posts with label Planning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Planning. Show all posts
Friday, March 23, 2012
Friday, December 2, 2011
Table Decor and Names
Posted by Tasha
We're closing in on almost 4 months now and we're still trying to figure out table names (read: we need your help yet again!) Last week before Thanksgiving, Tigritza and I met with our wedding coordinator at our venue and were able to see a sample dinner table set with our chosen plates and utensils and glasses and bowls and chairs, etc!!! It really made it come alive. We decided on table size - seating 8 per table since it is family style dining and it will be cozy and easier to pass food. We also chose our serving dishes and estimated how everything would fit on the tables - we left some room for the centerpieces!
Below are some photos of what the tables will look like - without one element: instead of off-white tablecloths, we'll put red, orange, and yellow patterned saris on the tables to add color! It will make the white plates pop and look fantastic!
And, we also set up the head table. It is seriously the coolest table ever! It's called the "serpentine" and actually it's 3 tables put together - at the head table Tigritza and I will be in the middle surrounded by family - 4 on each side. Meeting with Hannah, our coordinator, gave us so much energy and made me personally jump around like a little animal - saying I was excited was just not enough! I was skipping around the venue and sitting at the head table - where I will be sitting in just over 4 months with my wife.
Check out the photo -
So now, you can picture this, right? Here's were we need your help: Table Names. (Instead of Table Numbers - "you're at table number 8" we wanted to give name each table, under a particular theme. The question is, what's the theme?)
At first I really liked the idea of languages: naming each table after a language... and we listed about 10 that represented places we lived in or had a significant relationship to, but the idea now doesn't seem as awesome as when I originally thought of it.
Plus, since we're now only seating 8 people per table, we now have 14 tables and need at least that many names. Of course, we can go simple and just number them. Or, we can do cities we lived in or visited, but that's been done before by others members of our family, so we want to change it up... We don't have a wedding 'theme' aside from glass bottles (vodka bottles as you see from the post below and the wine corks as place cards... and, little glass bottles that the flowers will be in) but we're not really vodka or wine buffs so having names of alcohol doesn't seem to fit. What do you think?
Also, keep in mind we want something that can run through the theme of the wedding - and since we were playing with the idea of having a typewriter as a guestbook, we can do typewriter theme (but we haven't completely settled on that yet)... Thoughts? For a guestbook and table names and a general theme that you think will go with our bright (red, orange, yellow) wedding?
We're closing in on almost 4 months now and we're still trying to figure out table names (read: we need your help yet again!) Last week before Thanksgiving, Tigritza and I met with our wedding coordinator at our venue and were able to see a sample dinner table set with our chosen plates and utensils and glasses and bowls and chairs, etc!!! It really made it come alive. We decided on table size - seating 8 per table since it is family style dining and it will be cozy and easier to pass food. We also chose our serving dishes and estimated how everything would fit on the tables - we left some room for the centerpieces!
Below are some photos of what the tables will look like - without one element: instead of off-white tablecloths, we'll put red, orange, and yellow patterned saris on the tables to add color! It will make the white plates pop and look fantastic!
And, we also set up the head table. It is seriously the coolest table ever! It's called the "serpentine" and actually it's 3 tables put together - at the head table Tigritza and I will be in the middle surrounded by family - 4 on each side. Meeting with Hannah, our coordinator, gave us so much energy and made me personally jump around like a little animal - saying I was excited was just not enough! I was skipping around the venue and sitting at the head table - where I will be sitting in just over 4 months with my wife.
Check out the photo -
So now, you can picture this, right? Here's were we need your help: Table Names. (Instead of Table Numbers - "you're at table number 8" we wanted to give name each table, under a particular theme. The question is, what's the theme?)
At first I really liked the idea of languages: naming each table after a language... and we listed about 10 that represented places we lived in or had a significant relationship to, but the idea now doesn't seem as awesome as when I originally thought of it.
Plus, since we're now only seating 8 people per table, we now have 14 tables and need at least that many names. Of course, we can go simple and just number them. Or, we can do cities we lived in or visited, but that's been done before by others members of our family, so we want to change it up... We don't have a wedding 'theme' aside from glass bottles (vodka bottles as you see from the post below and the wine corks as place cards... and, little glass bottles that the flowers will be in) but we're not really vodka or wine buffs so having names of alcohol doesn't seem to fit. What do you think?
Also, keep in mind we want something that can run through the theme of the wedding - and since we were playing with the idea of having a typewriter as a guestbook, we can do typewriter theme (but we haven't completely settled on that yet)... Thoughts? For a guestbook and table names and a general theme that you think will go with our bright (red, orange, yellow) wedding?
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
"Workflowy that sh*t!"
Posted by Tigritza
After realizing that wedding planning IS as crazy as they say it is, especially when we're doing it all by ourselves (I should be able to list this on my resume!) we've started using Workflowy to keep track of our "list of wedding-related things to do". Workflowy is a really simple but great little tool to keep track of all the little things you need to do in life. And at this point, we can't live without it! Anything and everything we need to do goes on Workflowy.
A lot has happened, and we don't want to brush over all the small but significant milestones. They each deserve their own post, and hopefully the big ones will get their own posts...
...but to give you an idea, here's what we knocked off the Workflowy list for September:
- Make Save-The-Dates and magnets, and mail them out! We'll do a blog post about this, it was definitely an adventure in itself.
- Sign contract with Photographer - we're SO excited about this incredible duo!
- Sign contract with Photographer - we're SO excited about this incredible duo!
- Finalize/buy Tasha's wedding dress
- Buy little bottles for Tasha's dad's homemade vodka (NOW you're excited, aren't you?)
- Find Russian restaurant (FINALLY!)
- Find Russian restaurant (FINALLY!)
- Meet with florists
- Meet with DJs
- Meet with an officiant
Things we're working on now, and are on the Workflowy docket for October:
- Connect with the new wedding venue directors (our old one, who we absolutely loved, was unexpectedly let go, and we have to start planning with the venue from scratch. Here's where our world turned upside down.)
- Finalize Indian food
- Connect Russian/Indian restaurants with venue chef to coordinate logistics
- Get wedding veil, jewelry and shoes for Tasha
- Get shoes for Tigritza
- Keep working with random designer/entrepreneur for best-people clothing (this is a surprise, so we've gotta be vague!)
- Finalize flower lady (i.e. florist)
- Finalize music dude (i.e. DJ)
- Finalize officiant (excited about this one!)
- Create invitation design and get price estimates (urg, it's like save-the-dates all over again!)
- Look at registries (Tasha, this is non-urgent. How did it get on the list for October?)
- Call Little King, the incredible little jewelry shop in NY who made our engagement rings, to design some awesome/innovative wedding bands!
- Look into making deals with hotels for guests, who are already asking about where to stay
- Look up how to make a chuppah and send design to Tasha's dad, who is building it for us
- Interview Penn Orchestra students to play the violin for us during ceremony. Yay for cheap high-quality student labor!
- DECIDE once and for all: Typewriter Guest Book or No Typewriter Guest Book?
- Get a bajillion used wine bottle corks for name card stands
- Write AT LEAST ONE blog post
Well, at least I crossed one thing off the list :) Here's to the next 12 days of October! Full speed ahead...
I can't wait to marry her.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Our 4th of July - The Red and The Gold
Posted by Tasha
Only a month left to our engagement half way mark... 220 days have elapsed since she said "yes" and only 278 days until she says "I do" Ah! This is where the planning gets serious!
Our biggest accomplishment in these 220 days has been finalizing our venue... drum roll... the art gallery! It was the first of the two options we described and we could not have made this decision without your input! Thank you!!! We talked to the Managing Director of the venue, CT, and he is exactly the person we need to refocus us into the planning path! He told us our priorities now are food and photographers before everyone gets booked!
We discussed our options for food in a million different ways and maybe that warrants its own post (stay tuned); yet we still have not come to any conclusions there. In fact we talked about almost every aspect of the wedding day and suggested a dozen options for every element of the day, and again few conclusions are set. But hey, we have another 278 days to really get things straight (or gay).
Besides the venue, we have only one other thing finalized (as of yesterday). Tigritza and I are in India spending some time with her family - the perfect opportunity to get all the Indian trimmings! Last night we spent a few hours in the gold district of Kolkata and finally found THE wedding jewelry for my bride! After rejecting hundreds of gold necklaces of different styles, shapes, designs, and patterns, we came to a very unusual necklace with some fiery colors. This was it. In good Tigritza-Tasha custom, we kept it aside and continued to look until we knew nothing compared. It is delicate and grand and intricate and asymmetrical (like Tigritza's ring) and it's the wedding jewelry! With the necklace we got earrings which perfectly match and we got a tikka (or what I called a tickleee - which is a gold chain with a pendant at the end worn parting the hair in the middle with the pendant at the top of the forehead). Next she had to finalize her sari!
Before I arrived in India, Tigritza and her parents went sari shopping and found two beautiful bridal saris (in two different stores, one in Kolkata and one in Mumbai) after hours and even days of searching through red saris. And since they couldn't decide which of the two was right, they got both! After coming home last night from the jewelry adventure, Tigritza had to make a very exciting choice! She tried on each sari with the jewelry and had her parents and I pick the best one. I was very hesitant seeing her in the wedding get-up, but she assured me that she wouldn't get completely dressed - she still doesn't have the blouse-piece made (the little shirt worn under the 9 yards of sari material) and the pleats (or folds) wouldn't be done perfectly, etc. Regardless, she put on option A, the Mumbai sari, and it was beautiful - rich red with a uniform gold pattern and very thick gold pallu (the end piece that hangs over the shoulder). Then option B. The Kolkata sari. It was breathtaking. Bright red sari, swirls of gold all over, pleats covered in a different - more concentrated pattern of gold, pallu delicately sprinkled with gold. Absolutely majestic. I jumped up and ran away! Tigritza's Dad said "What's wrong!?" And all I could say was "That's my bride, wearing her bridal sari! I can't keep looking at her! This is it!!!" And after a big hug from Papa I ran to another room while the aaahhhs and ooohhhs continued.
So there you have it. Tigritza covered in red and gold. No photos since I'd be looking at them all day and that's no good. Tomorrow we'll go shopping for some little random Indian decorative things that might be nice for the wedding!
As always... more to come!
Only a month left to our engagement half way mark... 220 days have elapsed since she said "yes" and only 278 days until she says "I do" Ah! This is where the planning gets serious!
Our biggest accomplishment in these 220 days has been finalizing our venue... drum roll... the art gallery! It was the first of the two options we described and we could not have made this decision without your input! Thank you!!! We talked to the Managing Director of the venue, CT, and he is exactly the person we need to refocus us into the planning path! He told us our priorities now are food and photographers before everyone gets booked!
We discussed our options for food in a million different ways and maybe that warrants its own post (stay tuned); yet we still have not come to any conclusions there. In fact we talked about almost every aspect of the wedding day and suggested a dozen options for every element of the day, and again few conclusions are set. But hey, we have another 278 days to really get things straight (or gay).
Besides the venue, we have only one other thing finalized (as of yesterday). Tigritza and I are in India spending some time with her family - the perfect opportunity to get all the Indian trimmings! Last night we spent a few hours in the gold district of Kolkata and finally found THE wedding jewelry for my bride! After rejecting hundreds of gold necklaces of different styles, shapes, designs, and patterns, we came to a very unusual necklace with some fiery colors. This was it. In good Tigritza-Tasha custom, we kept it aside and continued to look until we knew nothing compared. It is delicate and grand and intricate and asymmetrical (like Tigritza's ring) and it's the wedding jewelry! With the necklace we got earrings which perfectly match and we got a tikka (or what I called a tickleee - which is a gold chain with a pendant at the end worn parting the hair in the middle with the pendant at the top of the forehead). Next she had to finalize her sari!
Before I arrived in India, Tigritza and her parents went sari shopping and found two beautiful bridal saris (in two different stores, one in Kolkata and one in Mumbai) after hours and even days of searching through red saris. And since they couldn't decide which of the two was right, they got both! After coming home last night from the jewelry adventure, Tigritza had to make a very exciting choice! She tried on each sari with the jewelry and had her parents and I pick the best one. I was very hesitant seeing her in the wedding get-up, but she assured me that she wouldn't get completely dressed - she still doesn't have the blouse-piece made (the little shirt worn under the 9 yards of sari material) and the pleats (or folds) wouldn't be done perfectly, etc. Regardless, she put on option A, the Mumbai sari, and it was beautiful - rich red with a uniform gold pattern and very thick gold pallu (the end piece that hangs over the shoulder). Then option B. The Kolkata sari. It was breathtaking. Bright red sari, swirls of gold all over, pleats covered in a different - more concentrated pattern of gold, pallu delicately sprinkled with gold. Absolutely majestic. I jumped up and ran away! Tigritza's Dad said "What's wrong!?" And all I could say was "That's my bride, wearing her bridal sari! I can't keep looking at her! This is it!!!" And after a big hug from Papa I ran to another room while the aaahhhs and ooohhhs continued.
So there you have it. Tigritza covered in red and gold. No photos since I'd be looking at them all day and that's no good. Tomorrow we'll go shopping for some little random Indian decorative things that might be nice for the wedding!
As always... more to come!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Best People
Posted by Tigritza
At a Saturday wedding reception in Bristol, England in March this year, a young English chap and I privately made a toast to each other: the best man and the maid of honor. "To the...Best People!" I said as our glasses clinked, after a smooth and perfectly executed marriage ceremony (whew).
What made the two of us so special? Not much. True, he wore an impressive three-piece country-style suit that almost perfectly matched the groom's. And I wore the same purple dress as the other three bridesmaids, but was allowed to distinguish myself with white shoes instead of black. He'd been responsible for carrying the wedding rings safely until the final moment, and for making one of those funny-but-charming toasts at the reception. I'd been responsible for running around to get last-minute chores done with the bride in the days leading up to the wedding, and for reading one of those touches-your-heart-and-makes-you-cry poems out loud at the ceremony. But really, we were just the bride and groom's best friends. He'd known the groom for years, and I'd grown up with the bride.
It's not just the best man and the maid of honor. A traditional Western wedding will also include bridesmaids and groomsdudes (as my sister calls them) in the 'best people' wedding party. And as much as Tasha and I consider our wedding to be 'unconventional' in some senses, we know we want a wedding party - a group of people who stand with us as we promise each other the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, as soon as one starts planning a wedding, it's impossible to avoid the question - who will the 'best people' be? And which two will be 'more important' than anyone else? I'll admit it, I've been guilty of it myself. One of my best friends, Belle, just got engaged - and we've already brought up the maid-of-honor issue in our little group of close friends (albeit in jest).
I've heard of many different choosing 'algorithms'. Choose your family: sibling, or cousin, or even parent. Choose your high school best friend, or your college best friend, or your current best friend. Choose the person you've known longest. Choose the person you grew up with. Choose the person who introduced you both, because they're responsible for your relationship. Choose your closest friend who lives next to you, so they can help plan the wedding with you. Choose your ex, because they had the good sense to break up with you (just kidding about that last one).
We decided to condense all that into one simple question: for each of us, who was the person who most supported us - and basically built our relationship with us? Someone without whom, truthfully, we may not have ended up here together? Who was the person who was there from the beginning, heard our "oh-my-god-I-met-someone!!" story the night after we first met at Penn, counseled us during every fight, celebrated every anniversary, gave us peace of mind when we couldn't stand each other, and inspired us to be better, to be braver, to try harder, and to love stronger? Who made that kind of impact on the couple we are today? Basically, who took us both, together, from zero to this altar?
Maybe if we each answered that question, we'd get the first two people in the wedding party. The ones who hold the rings or take the flowers or read the poem. But overall, who would be in the larger wedding party?
(1.) Of course, some of the first people that come to mind are high school best friends: from the pre-Tasha era. When I talk about "growing up" with someone, this is who I mean. Sure, maybe they didn't know me when I was 6 or 7. But they knew me best when I was 12 - 18. When I went from being a little girl with schoolboy crushes and secret notes to being a woman with dreams and a college acceptance letter. Yep, they even saw me through that awkward adolescent stage (*shudder*). My best friend from my time in Oman (age 12-16) was the bride at the Bristol wedding I mentioned. My best friends from my time in Dubai (16-18) have also had a huge impact on every aspect of my life. These are still the first people I rush to share good news with. Tasha has at least two best friends that fall into this category too.
(2.) And then, there are newer friends. The after-we-met people, who met us as a couple (or barely before), and never knew Tasha or me without each other. Sure, maybe you could call them late-to-the-party, but maybe they're no less significant ...and besides, everyone we meet for the rest of our lives will hopefully fall into this category. So yes, we've met some lifelong friends who happened to be late-to-the-party.
(3.) And most importantly, there is family. Tasha and I both have siblings. I have an incredible sister - a role model in almost every way - who had her own wedding in 2009. Tasha has a wonderful brother - nine years her senior, and so cool that I'd consider marrying him if Tasha weren't around (just kidding Tasha). They transcend time periods: pre-Tasha, post-Tasha, during-Tasha ...we haven't even known a time without them.
Can't we have them all? Well, not unless we plan on making half the room stand up with us. So maybe in addition to the first two, Tasha and I should each symbolically stand with one person from each time period, to represent the different stages of our lives: (1) Older, (2) Newer and (3) Always?
But that means - do I just get to pick one high school friend? They're all still in my life - 'high school friend' is a misnomer. And just one post-Tasha friend? What about the others who were no less important? Not to mention gender - how do outfits work? Do we have an even number of guys and girls (or would that be both hypocritical and unfair)?
What made the two of us so special? Not much. True, he wore an impressive three-piece country-style suit that almost perfectly matched the groom's. And I wore the same purple dress as the other three bridesmaids, but was allowed to distinguish myself with white shoes instead of black. He'd been responsible for carrying the wedding rings safely until the final moment, and for making one of those funny-but-charming toasts at the reception. I'd been responsible for running around to get last-minute chores done with the bride in the days leading up to the wedding, and for reading one of those touches-your-heart-and-makes-you-cry poems out loud at the ceremony. But really, we were just the bride and groom's best friends. He'd known the groom for years, and I'd grown up with the bride.
It's not just the best man and the maid of honor. A traditional Western wedding will also include bridesmaids and groomsdudes (as my sister calls them) in the 'best people' wedding party. And as much as Tasha and I consider our wedding to be 'unconventional' in some senses, we know we want a wedding party - a group of people who stand with us as we promise each other the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, as soon as one starts planning a wedding, it's impossible to avoid the question - who will the 'best people' be? And which two will be 'more important' than anyone else? I'll admit it, I've been guilty of it myself. One of my best friends, Belle, just got engaged - and we've already brought up the maid-of-honor issue in our little group of close friends (albeit in jest).
(image from here)
Tasha and I are fortunate enough to have a plethora of people that we consider close friends (all of you reading this, we're talking about you!). We've each grown up in many different locations, and have had to form a new circle of friends in each one. As a result, we have many important people in our lives. So how can we justify the pressure to pick just two - or even just eight - to stand with us on the big day?
I've heard of many different choosing 'algorithms'. Choose your family: sibling, or cousin, or even parent. Choose your high school best friend, or your college best friend, or your current best friend. Choose the person you've known longest. Choose the person you grew up with. Choose the person who introduced you both, because they're responsible for your relationship. Choose your closest friend who lives next to you, so they can help plan the wedding with you. Choose your ex, because they had the good sense to break up with you (just kidding about that last one).
We decided to condense all that into one simple question: for each of us, who was the person who most supported us - and basically built our relationship with us? Someone without whom, truthfully, we may not have ended up here together? Who was the person who was there from the beginning, heard our "oh-my-god-I-met-someone!!" story the night after we first met at Penn, counseled us during every fight, celebrated every anniversary, gave us peace of mind when we couldn't stand each other, and inspired us to be better, to be braver, to try harder, and to love stronger? Who made that kind of impact on the couple we are today? Basically, who took us both, together, from zero to this altar?
Maybe if we each answered that question, we'd get the first two people in the wedding party. The ones who hold the rings or take the flowers or read the poem. But overall, who would be in the larger wedding party?
(1.) Of course, some of the first people that come to mind are high school best friends: from the pre-Tasha era. When I talk about "growing up" with someone, this is who I mean. Sure, maybe they didn't know me when I was 6 or 7. But they knew me best when I was 12 - 18. When I went from being a little girl with schoolboy crushes and secret notes to being a woman with dreams and a college acceptance letter. Yep, they even saw me through that awkward adolescent stage (*shudder*). My best friend from my time in Oman (age 12-16) was the bride at the Bristol wedding I mentioned. My best friends from my time in Dubai (16-18) have also had a huge impact on every aspect of my life. These are still the first people I rush to share good news with. Tasha has at least two best friends that fall into this category too.
(2.) And then, there are newer friends. The after-we-met people, who met us as a couple (or barely before), and never knew Tasha or me without each other. Sure, maybe you could call them late-to-the-party, but maybe they're no less significant ...and besides, everyone we meet for the rest of our lives will hopefully fall into this category. So yes, we've met some lifelong friends who happened to be late-to-the-party.
(3.) And most importantly, there is family. Tasha and I both have siblings. I have an incredible sister - a role model in almost every way - who had her own wedding in 2009. Tasha has a wonderful brother - nine years her senior, and so cool that I'd consider marrying him if Tasha weren't around (just kidding Tasha). They transcend time periods: pre-Tasha, post-Tasha, during-Tasha ...we haven't even known a time without them.
Can't we have them all? Well, not unless we plan on making half the room stand up with us. So maybe in addition to the first two, Tasha and I should each symbolically stand with one person from each time period, to represent the different stages of our lives: (1) Older, (2) Newer and (3) Always?
But that means - do I just get to pick one high school friend? They're all still in my life - 'high school friend' is a misnomer. And just one post-Tasha friend? What about the others who were no less important? Not to mention gender - how do outfits work? Do we have an even number of guys and girls (or would that be both hypocritical and unfair)?
This much we know: at the end of the day, we know it doesn't matter. After all, a wedding is just a party - whoever the so-called Best People end up being, it couldn't possibly diminish the significance of all our relationships, whether or not they're standing up with us for half an hour. Maybe we should just throw all the names from (1) and (2) into a hat and leave it to chance!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Where To Marry Me: The Search
Posted by Tigritza
More on the apartment later (yes, we found one!) - this post is about wedding venues. We saw a total of six places, and while that may not seem like a lot, we feel like we've done a pretty exhaustive search! It started with online research, dozens of places. Tasha had to force me to sit down with her and look at scores of photographs of brides and grooms in traditional (boring?) poses in the same color themes, the same choreographed poses and what looked like the same physical setup in each venue. We finally narrowed down the search, and Tasha called each place to make appointments and gauge gay-friendliness (we've heard horror stories of signed contracts being cancelled when the venue hosts realized it was a same-sex couple). I'd been the apartment-hunting appointment-maker, so Tasha took over the wedding-venue-hunting.
Through our search, we realized we were looking for a few things:
- A decent price (prices ranged from $2,600 to $14,000 for 5 hours of wedding time! Ridiculous!)
- Natural light: our original plan had been an outdoor wedding, but given that April weather is so unpredictable, a tented or indoor wedding seems like the only option. Still, the idea of an outdoor space is important to us.
- Fire-friendliness: we want to incorporate some sort of little fire, to address the Hindu tradition
- Gay-friendliness: as I mentioned above
- And finally, Circular-Seating-friendliness!
...That last one is a big one, and rules out many 'standard' wedding venue setups. One evening in England last month, at a bar by the river in Bristol, as we pondered questions like "who walks down the aisle first?" we suddenly realized: why is there only one aisle? And why are we getting married at the front of the room? Why can't there be two aisles, leading to the center of the room, with the guests seated in a circular fashion around the chuppah? (Yes, we will also have some sort of indian-ized colorful huppah) As soon as that circular idea was born, all kinds of images started coming into our minds - everything started falling in place, at least in our heads. We saw the setup, the colors, the ceremony, the fabric... Tasha became crazy-excited that I was getting excited, and we had too many glasses of wine and breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good to finally know, even in the slightest, what we wanted.
So - what venues? Of the four we rejected, some were hit-or-miss and some were absolute-miss, but we finally settled on two we loved:
So - what venues? Of the four we rejected, some were hit-or-miss and some were absolute-miss, but we finally settled on two we loved:
---------------------------
First, the first venue we saw! In Olde City Philadelphia (gorgeous area, with cobblestone and old buildings all around), was this venue:
First, the first venue we saw! In Olde City Philadelphia (gorgeous area, with cobblestone and old buildings all around), was this venue:
The space is an art gallery, and is composed of two levels. The bottom level is where the ceremony, cocktails and post-dinner dancing will be held. Our favorite thing about this space is that with the amount of light streaming through the windows and the incredible talent of the staff, it can be utterly transformed into anything! We saw pictures of Hindu ceremonies, Jewish ceremonies, Christian ceremonies, social events, benefits, and more. Here are some images -
The venue has worked with all kinds of Ceremonies -
The same downstairs space can be completely transformed for Post-Dinner Dancing .
The images below may not be from weddings, but they give you an idea...
The images below may not be from weddings, but they give you an idea...
As you can see, the upstairs floor directly overlooks the lower floor through this sort of circular balcony in the middle, making everything a lot more intimate and unified. Dinner will be held upstairs -
We LOVE that it's naturally circular. That it's intimate, and that no one section is closed off. That it's full of light (the upper floor actually has an entire wall of windows). And most importantly, we love the staff! We know they could create an incredible wedding for us.
BUT, one downside is that it's an art gallery:
BUT, one downside is that it's an art gallery:
So, we have no control over what exhibit is up. We've been told we can take down 2-3 pieces if we find them offensive or awkward, but we can't take down an entire exhibit. Our hope is that in photos and in the hype of the whole party, the art pieces will sort of blend into the background...
Also, there are still some kinks to be worked out - for example, since dinner and post-dinner dancing are on different floors, we need to be sure that we set up tables on the lower floor so some guests can sit if they don't feel like dancing. The worst case scenario would be a split, where half the guests stay upstairs and only half come down and dance.
Also, there are still some kinks to be worked out - for example, since dinner and post-dinner dancing are on different floors, we need to be sure that we set up tables on the lower floor so some guests can sit if they don't feel like dancing. The worst case scenario would be a split, where half the guests stay upstairs and only half come down and dance.
---------------------------
The second finalist here is... *drumroll* ...the Franklin Institute!
There are two good possibilities for the Ceremony location: one is the roof (but again, since April weather is so unpredictable, this may not be a good idea)
But the other, more interesting choice is... the Planetarium!! Yes, believe it or not, they hold ceremonies here. The planetarium screens are in the form of a giant demi-sphere, and are entirely customizable, so we could choose an amber starfield, a full moon, or even a slow rising and setting sun for the duration of the ceremony - any colors, any images... and some of the pictures we saw on the tour (which unfortunately I don't have here) are beautiful! Plus, the planetarium is definitely circular!
As cool as a Planetarium wedding sounds (and believe me, I'm crazy about astronomy so that sounds super cool to me), our main worry is darkness and the enclosed space. The ceremony is supposed to be beautiful and free in our minds, and trapping it in a dark planetarium just doesn't seem right. Even if we choose a sunrise/sunset... it just seems too... artificially bright, you know? What do you guys think?
Cocktails would be in one of the science display rooms - a very fun and classier one is the Electricity room, where all the displays are interactive and could make for a very fun, non-awkward, sparkly cocktail hour (definitely tops the other venue in this respect...)
...And then dinner and dancing (both in the same room! solves the previous venue's problem, yay!) would be in Franklin Hall - a majestic space with a giant statue of Ben Franklin! It has a huge dome, with incredible light and sound displays. The hall can be absolutely transformed into any color - starry or cloudy skies, amber or red or green or orange or blue lighting, whatever - imagine, for example, the lighting changing to starry blue skies for the first dance, and then back to amber for the party. We were blown away by the display.
Cocktails would be in one of the science display rooms - a very fun and classier one is the Electricity room, where all the displays are interactive and could make for a very fun, non-awkward, sparkly cocktail hour (definitely tops the other venue in this respect...)
...And then dinner and dancing (both in the same room! solves the previous venue's problem, yay!) would be in Franklin Hall - a majestic space with a giant statue of Ben Franklin! It has a huge dome, with incredible light and sound displays. The hall can be absolutely transformed into any color - starry or cloudy skies, amber or red or green or orange or blue lighting, whatever - imagine, for example, the lighting changing to starry blue skies for the first dance, and then back to amber for the party. We were blown away by the display.
The biggest problem with this venue is that there are so many different rooms! It is a huge museum, and guests would have to be herded from room to room - hopefully without losing a grandmother or a 4-yr-old taking a wrong turn down some random corridor. It feels less intimate...and again, we're torn in two directions about the coolness-but-darkness of the planetarium ceremony. It is a huge space though, and the lighting is incredible.
---------------------------
So there you have it. Our top two candidates. Which would you choose?
(Note: Price is pretty much the same for both venues.)
(Note: Price is pretty much the same for both venues.)
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wet Toes
Posted by Tigritza
So, Tasha's last post (posted yesterday - "And We're Back!") wasn't the first time she'd mentioned her fear of rain and wet feet on the wedding day. I guess you could say she's kind of a rainophobe. In fact, she's been bringing this up for quite a while - ever since we first even thought about the possibility of getting married.
So, Tasha's last post (posted yesterday - "And We're Back!") wasn't the first time she'd mentioned her fear of rain and wet feet on the wedding day. I guess you could say she's kind of a rainophobe. In fact, she's been bringing this up for quite a while - ever since we first even thought about the possibility of getting married.
I did a quick search for "wet toes" in my Gmail inbox, and came upon this goofy email chain from June 2009. 2009!! That was a year and a half ago! (Just over 2 years into our relationship.) It was probably the first time we'd thought seriously about possibly getting married one day in the very distant future, and we'd brought up the idea of getting married on an April 13th (which is the day we first met in 2007, on a Friday.) Immediately following that conversation, Tasha had no doubt begun worrying about the possibility of rain. And the following string of emails ensued...enjoy!
It's funny how this random conversation of all these hypothetical issues has materialized into the same actual issues that we're legitimately worrying about now - not much has changed!
Email chain on June 24, 2009. Subject: wedding planner.
Tasha at 2:55pm:
There is a "wedding planner" tab at the weather.com site... So I looked at April 13th __ average high is 59 F and average low is 38 F... I dont want a cold weathered wedding... I want it to be 75ish!
What do you think grasshopper?
~Tasha
Tigritza at 2:59pm:
I am confused, which year did you look at? I am confused. Would we potentially be getting married in 2012? That is a Friday. 2013 is a Sunday...what did we decide???
Tigritza at 3:02pm:
cmon what do you mean you're not sure!! we thought about this!! Cmonnnnn
i think 2012 because:
then the people who dont care wont come = smaller wedding
venue etc will be cheaper than a weekend wedding
it's friday the 13th! = cool
on the other hand, we would have to give people lots of notice to ensure that they take a day off work :)
Tasha at 2:55pm:
There is a "wedding planner" tab at the weather.com site... So I looked at April 13th __ average high is 59 F and average low is 38 F... I dont want a cold weathered wedding... I want it to be 75ish!
What do you think grasshopper?
~Tasha
Tigritza at 2:59pm:
I am confused, which year did you look at? I am confused. Would we potentially be getting married in 2012? That is a Friday. 2013 is a Sunday...what did we decide???
Tasha at 3:01pm:
silly! I looked at average temp over the years!
It wont change much ... not sure what year we are getting married tiger!
silly! I looked at average temp over the years!
It wont change much ... not sure what year we are getting married tiger!
Tigritza at 3:02pm:
cmon what do you mean you're not sure!! we thought about this!! Cmonnnnn
i think 2012 because:
then the people who dont care wont come = smaller wedding
venue etc will be cheaper than a weekend wedding
it's friday the 13th! = cool
on the other hand, we would have to give people lots of notice to ensure that they take a day off work :)
Tasha at 3:05pm:
baby... im not talking about the year here! hmph
Yes, I think 2012 is much better... and of course we can give good notice... we will be planning this quite a bit in advance!
But my email's purpose was to alarm you of the cold weather!
COLD is not my thing! :(
what are your thoughts about the WEATHER!?
baby... im not talking about the year here! hmph
Yes, I think 2012 is much better... and of course we can give good notice... we will be planning this quite a bit in advance!
But my email's purpose was to alarm you of the cold weather!
COLD is not my thing! :(
what are your thoughts about the WEATHER!?
Tigritza at 3:11pm:
I know your purpose but evidently we got sidetracked on a much more important issue.
Anyway, I am sure you looked at the weather inRockland in 2012 (ok ok in April, whatever) and quite frankly I do not care about the weather in Rockland because we are not getting married in Rockland
Now I know you are thinking well it's going to be cold 100 miles fromRockland
There are outdoor heaters that work wonderfully under a canopy (they trap in the heat sooo well) and bars use them on rooftops and stuff. And worst case we could have the wedding in like a gazebo that is heated from the inside.
Now go on google and look up what is a gazebo. Then tell me what do you think? :)
I know your purpose but evidently we got sidetracked on a much more important issue.
Anyway, I am sure you looked at the weather in
Now I know you are thinking well it's going to be cold 100 miles from
There are outdoor heaters that work wonderfully under a canopy (they trap in the heat sooo well) and bars use them on rooftops and stuff. And worst case we could have the wedding in like a gazebo that is heated from the inside.
Now go on google and look up what is a gazebo. Then tell me what do you think? :)
Tasha at 3:21pm:
Baby... the other thing that scares me... is this: the rain... you know how depressed I get when it rains... it ruins everything... and April is the month of RAIN.
it will ruin my hair and my dress and I'll have gooosebumps... I want it to be sunny and beautiful and warm and I like the idea of the gazebo/greenhouse thing but I want it to be WARM!
I want people to wear summery stuff
Also, if we have an outdoor wedding in April, we better have the Hindu fire thing set up! ... and a Jewish Hupa!
Also, we will have to take thursday off too (to prepare).
I'm really excited about thursday night -- the night before our wedding... i can't wait!
Baby... the other thing that scares me... is this: the rain... you know how depressed I get when it rains... it ruins everything... and April is the month of RAIN.
it will ruin my hair and my dress and I'll have gooosebumps... I want it to be sunny and beautiful and warm and I like the idea of the gazebo/greenhouse thing but I want it to be WARM!
I want people to wear summery stuff
Also, if we have an outdoor wedding in April, we better have the Hindu fire thing set up! ... and a Jewish Hupa!
Also, we will have to take thursday off too (to prepare).
I'm really excited about thursday night -- the night before our wedding... i can't wait!
Tigritza at 3:24pm:
hahahahhaa
oh honey
planning ahead are we!
anyway stop worrying and complaining. you want to have a wedding anniversary in hot july every year, then just say the word! hmpf.
people dont think about the weather when picking wedding clothing. plus do we really have to do the jewish hindu stuff so extremely? i think it might be overkill. lets just think of a nice classy simple way to combine them - nothing too elaborate.
also, after thursday night, i dont think you have to worry about whether or not you'll have messy hair. i guarantee you it'll look pretty kooky after i'm done with you!
hahahahhaa
oh honey
planning ahead are we!
anyway stop worrying and complaining. you want to have a wedding anniversary in hot july every year, then just say the word! hmpf.
people dont think about the weather when picking wedding clothing. plus do we really have to do the jewish hindu stuff so extremely? i think it might be overkill. lets just think of a nice classy simple way to combine them - nothing too elaborate.
also, after thursday night, i dont think you have to worry about whether or not you'll have messy hair. i guarantee you it'll look pretty kooky after i'm done with you!
Tasha at 3:31pm:
oof
I dont want a wedding in july but early june would be nice... (I do really want an April 13th wedding... but it might SNOW! I just hate the cold!)
about clothing... are you serious!? I'm thinking about clothing right now! I might have to wear leggings under my dress! Do you want an extra layer of clothing to take off when we go home for the first time (as a married couple)!?
And hindu/judaism overkill might be too much yes. ok we will plan that in more detail later... (I dont really care about the hoopa but I do want some traditional jewish dancing... where they sit us on chairs and dance circles around us as some people hold the chairs up (do you know waht i'm talking about?)
and baby, im not worried about what you will do to my hair on Thursday night because early Friday morning I'm getting my hair done! Duh! :)
I LOVE YOU!!!!
I dont want a wedding in july but early june would be nice... (I do really want an April 13th wedding... but it might SNOW! I just hate the cold!)
about clothing... are you serious!? I'm thinking about clothing right now! I might have to wear leggings under my dress! Do you want an extra layer of clothing to take off when we go home for the first time (as a married couple)!?
And hindu/judaism overkill might be too much yes. ok we will plan that in more detail later... (I dont really care about the hoopa but I do want some traditional jewish dancing... where they sit us on chairs and dance circles around us as some people hold the chairs up (do you know waht i'm talking about?)
and baby, im not worried about what you will do to my hair on Thursday night because early Friday morning I'm getting my hair done! Duh! :)
I LOVE YOU!!!!
Tigritza at 3:34pm:
i am SAYING that even the hairdressers will not know what to do with such a kooky mess!
i am SAYING that even the hairdressers will not know what to do with such a kooky mess!
Tasha at 3:36pm:
you are a kooky mess!
and you better not make me oversleep my hair appt!
you are a kooky mess!
and you better not make me oversleep my hair appt!
Tigritza at 3:39pm:
anyway, we are not supposed to be together on the night before the wedding. i am not supposed to see you on the wedding day until the actual wedding!!!!
anyway, we are not supposed to be together on the night before the wedding. i am not supposed to see you on the wedding day until the actual wedding!!!!
Tasha at 3:40pm:
o crap
so nothing the night before?
that's awful... where will i go? wont we be living together?
o crap
so nothing the night before?
that's awful... where will i go? wont we be living together?
Tigritza at 3:44pm:
haha you volunteered to be the one to go! Yay
haha you volunteered to be the one to go! Yay
Tasha at 3:45pm:
hahhahahah
I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you
hahhahahah
I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with you
Tasha, again, at 3:53pm:
Things I'm worried about:
- picking the perfect ring
- asking your parent's permission
- RAIN
- color of our bridesmaids dresses (sari or dress? ah!)
- color scheme of the decor
- the cake melting in the rain or freezing in the snow
- what my nails will look like (french manicur... but short enough)
- open toe shoes or closed toe?
- where are we going for our honey moon -- and when? leaving that weekend? (YES)
- bachlorette parties (i dont really want one... I have no friends)
- wedding vows... I have to write something witty and lovey? not my forte
... that's a bit of a list there... maybe I should worry about getting a job first
Things I'm worried about:
- picking the perfect ring
- asking your parent's permission
- RAIN
- color of our bridesmaids dresses (sari or dress? ah!)
- color scheme of the decor
- the cake melting in the rain or freezing in the snow
- what my nails will look like (french manicur... but short enough)
- open toe shoes or closed toe?
- where are we going for our honey moon -- and when? leaving that weekend? (YES)
- bachlorette parties (i dont really want one... I have no friends)
- wedding vows... I have to write something witty and lovey? not my forte
... that's a bit of a list there... maybe I should worry about getting a job first
Tigritza at 4:03pm:
Okay, here are your answers little one:
- picking the perfect ring ---- Just dont make it too simple/boring. Ask JC for confirmation when you pick one.
- asking your parent's permission ---- don't be worried. I'm worried about your parents. They will laugh or shoot me.
- RAIN ----gazebo/canopy/greenhouse! it'd be scarier if it was June because then we wouldn't plan for any shelter from cold and if it rained then we'd be all out in the open and vulnerable
- color of our bridesmaids dresses (sari or dress? ah!) ---- maybe normal dresses or some sort of fusion style that isnt too elaborate, because then the two of us stand out?
- color scheme of the decor ---- please not red-and-white. we will be red-and-white (red sari and white dress), the rest of the wedding doesnt need to be. it's ok - we have friends with fashion sense and color-scheme sense.
- the cake melting in the rain or freezing in the snow ---- i am going to HIT you
- what my nails will look like (french manicur... but short enough) ---- manicurE yes. but yes short enough. i mean let's just get straight to the point - you're not going to be fooling anyone with long nails.
- open toe shoes or closed toe? ----open. duh!
- where are we going for our honey moon -- and when? leaving that weekend? (YES) ----yes that weekend. as long as it's not some beach honeymoon i'm happy.
- bachlorette parties (i dont really want one... I have no friends) ---- YES! you have friends you dumbo. the only problem is that friends overlap. LZ can attend your party maybe, but she cannot have a starring role.
- wedding vows... I have to write something witty and lovey? not my forte ---- aw man i hate cheesy shit like personalized vows.
Okay, here are your answers little one:
- picking the perfect ring ---- Just dont make it too simple/boring. Ask JC for confirmation when you pick one.
- asking your parent's permission ---- don't be worried. I'm worried about your parents. They will laugh or shoot me.
- RAIN ----gazebo/canopy/greenhouse! it'd be scarier if it was June because then we wouldn't plan for any shelter from cold and if it rained then we'd be all out in the open and vulnerable
- color of our bridesmaids dresses (sari or dress? ah!) ---- maybe normal dresses or some sort of fusion style that isnt too elaborate, because then the two of us stand out?
- color scheme of the decor ---- please not red-and-white. we will be red-and-white (red sari and white dress), the rest of the wedding doesnt need to be. it's ok - we have friends with fashion sense and color-scheme sense.
- the cake melting in the rain or freezing in the snow ---- i am going to HIT you
- what my nails will look like (french manicur... but short enough) ---- manicurE yes. but yes short enough. i mean let's just get straight to the point - you're not going to be fooling anyone with long nails.
- open toe shoes or closed toe? ----open. duh!
- where are we going for our honey moon -- and when? leaving that weekend? (YES) ----yes that weekend. as long as it's not some beach honeymoon i'm happy.
- bachlorette parties (i dont really want one... I have no friends) ---- YES! you have friends you dumbo. the only problem is that friends overlap. LZ can attend your party maybe, but she cannot have a starring role.
- wedding vows... I have to write something witty and lovey? not my forte ---- aw man i hate cheesy shit like personalized vows.
Tasha at 4:39pm:
My responses to your answers::
-gimme JC's phone number :)
-why are you asking my parents' permission? I'm asking yours!!!
-yes yes gazebo/canopy... then we nee extra loud microphone since the rain will be so loud ... noone will hear anything!
-color of dresses? Just had an idea when you siad "maybe a fusion style"... MAGIC DRESS!
-color scheme of decor... definitely not red and white... how about light lavendar and yellow or light green or light orange (but def lavendar cuz of the flowers!)
-the cake freezing or melting in severe weather conditions - you didn't answer my problem
-manicurE - fine, problem solved
-open toe shoes.... what if my toes get wet - you know how I hate that...
-honeymoon gettaway - to be planned
-bachlorette parties... I dont know about this! I'll have MH plan mine! :) And CS!!!
-wedding vows- are you saying we wont have wedding vows? How will we say the I do part?
hmph
My responses to your answers::
-gimme JC's phone number :)
-why are you asking my parents' permission? I'm asking yours!!!
-yes yes gazebo/canopy... then we nee extra loud microphone since the rain will be so loud ... noone will hear anything!
-color of dresses? Just had an idea when you siad "maybe a fusion style"... MAGIC DRESS!
-color scheme of decor... definitely not red and white... how about light lavendar and yellow or light green or light orange (but def lavendar cuz of the flowers!)
-the cake freezing or melting in severe weather conditions - you didn't answer my problem
-manicurE - fine, problem solved
-open toe shoes.... what if my toes get wet - you know how I hate that...
-honeymoon gettaway - to be planned
-bachlorette parties... I dont know about this! I'll have MH plan mine! :) And CS!!!
-wedding vows- are you saying we wont have wedding vows? How will we say the I do part?
hmph
Tigritza at 4:46pm:
my comebacks to your responses:
-You want JC’s number? you're buying the ring NOW???
-well dont i have to ask your parents something or somebody has to run it by them at least!
-there is NOT going to be loud rain i mean for heavens sake for the LAST TIME enUFFF about this RAIN!
-color of dresses? ok but we'd have to really pin those magic dresses on good because i dont want one of them coming loose and stealing my thunder or getting my wife excited!
-yea maybe lavenDER would be nice...hmmm lets talk about it later not now i dont want to.
-ONCE AGAIN THERE IS NO MELTING OR FREEZING CAKE goodness enough about this nonsense! it will be the cake caterers job to protect the cake at all times and anticipate any conditions that might ruin the cake, that is what we are paying them for, if i wanted my wife to worry about that i would just pay her instead HMPF
-manicurE -okay then if the problem is solved WHY IS THIS STILL ON THE LIST
-if your toes get wet POOP on that! you will dress for the wedding pictures not for the weather! and enUP about this raiN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-honeymoon gettaway - yes the getaway must be planned *finger on nose* NOT ME!
-bachlorette parties... FUN! :)
-How will we say the I do part? ---- like this: "I DO. hmpf!"
my comebacks to your responses:
-You want JC’s number? you're buying the ring NOW???
-well dont i have to ask your parents something or somebody has to run it by them at least!
-there is NOT going to be loud rain i mean for heavens sake for the LAST TIME enUFFF about this RAIN!
-color of dresses? ok but we'd have to really pin those magic dresses on good because i dont want one of them coming loose and stealing my thunder or getting my wife excited!
-yea maybe lavenDER would be nice...hmmm lets talk about it later not now i dont want to.
-ONCE AGAIN THERE IS NO MELTING OR FREEZING CAKE goodness enough about this nonsense! it will be the cake caterers job to protect the cake at all times and anticipate any conditions that might ruin the cake, that is what we are paying them for, if i wanted my wife to worry about that i would just pay her instead HMPF
-manicurE -okay then if the problem is solved WHY IS THIS STILL ON THE LIST
-if your toes get wet POOP on that! you will dress for the wedding pictures not for the weather! and enUP about this raiN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-honeymoon gettaway - yes the getaway must be planned *finger on nose* NOT ME!
-bachlorette parties... FUN! :)
-How will we say the I do part? ---- like this: "I DO. hmpf!"
Tasha at 4:56pm:
I have tears dripping down my face from all the laughing!!!!
my goodness... how do you keep a straight face at work? aren't you suppposed to be pretending to be busy?
double comebacks:
-Just gimme JC's number NOW!
-something has to run it by them!? what will that something be? o boy, another problem... but I believe the original one was how the hell will I ask your parents! (STILL WORRIED)
-no rain? Are you sure!? Are we still having a wedding in April because April is nick-named "the shower month" (and not cuz everyone showers, but because it RAINS!)
-yes pin it on good (what color tho!?) -- it's pretty hard to find a pretty magic dress!
-ok lets not talk about the lavenDER and color scheming
-so now I'm gettting money to worry about the cake? I'm confuzed... I dont want to be responsible! And how much are you insuring the cake for?
-manicurE - take this off the list... the problem is solved!
-I am not dressing for the pictures! I'm dressing for the event... maybe I should buy two pairs of shoes -- one for the rain and one for the sunshine? .... oh and what about snow?
-honeymoon gettaway NOT FAIR! We are planning this together! HMPH
-bachlorette parties... yes fun ok pine
-Tigritza, if you say "I DO HMPHFFF" on our wedding day, I am throwing my wet shoes in your face! You better take that hmphhhfff out of there! HMPH!
I have tears dripping down my face from all the laughing!!!!
my goodness... how do you keep a straight face at work? aren't you suppposed to be pretending to be busy?
double comebacks:
-Just gimme JC's number NOW!
-something has to run it by them!? what will that something be? o boy, another problem... but I believe the original one was how the hell will I ask your parents! (STILL WORRIED)
-no rain? Are you sure!? Are we still having a wedding in April because April is nick-named "the shower month" (and not cuz everyone showers, but because it RAINS!)
-yes pin it on good (what color tho!?) -- it's pretty hard to find a pretty magic dress!
-ok lets not talk about the lavenDER and color scheming
-so now I'm gettting money to worry about the cake? I'm confuzed... I dont want to be responsible! And how much are you insuring the cake for?
-manicurE - take this off the list... the problem is solved!
-I am not dressing for the pictures! I'm dressing for the event... maybe I should buy two pairs of shoes -- one for the rain and one for the sunshine? .... oh and what about snow?
-honeymoon gettaway NOT FAIR! We are planning this together! HMPH
-bachlorette parties... yes fun ok pine
-Tigritza, if you say "I DO HMPHFFF" on our wedding day, I am throwing my wet shoes in your face! You better take that hmphhhfff out of there! HMPH!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
And we're back!
Posted by Tasha
Tigritza and I just got back from a close friend's wedding in England. And before that we had a short vacation in the Bahamas and between all this school work and 'real' work has been keeping us busy enough to not do any wedding planning. On a brighter note, in England, two nights before our friend's wedding, we went to a proper British pub. The combination of the alcohol and the excitement for G and P's wedding got us very excited and talking about our own wedding. Pictures in our mind are coming together to make the most beautiful and unconventional wedding yet. We are planning a big party. We even have some color ideas brewing... thinking about some bright orange and yellows. Fun fact: searching for "orange umbrella" on ebay alone returns with 199 results! Of course I look up umbrellas as I'm afraid of the rain for our April wedding! (Kenzie-editedblog-337.jpg) ... I'm convincing myself rain won't be so bad
| (Image from here) |
Because time has been a limited commodity, we haven't documented some important events. Most importantly, President Obama has made a historic declaration: The Department of Justice should no longer defend DOMA in further cases as it is unconstitutional. I think Tigritza will explain this further in the next post. To say we are extremely happy about this still seems like an understatement.
On our flight back from England, Tigritza and I stood in the same immigration line for non-US citizens although we typically separate and I zoom through immigration along with other US citizens. It is silly of course that we never stood in the same line but the fact that we were allowed to do that hadn't even crossed my mind. It was like a small revolution in my mind - our kids will never be separated from either of us in those lines.
Anyway, we're back and ready to start seriously looking for venues!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Wedding Planning for Dummies
Posted by Tigritza
Step One: Acknowledge that wedding planning must begin.
Step Two: Get a wedding planning book!
...so, on one very cold Sunday in Philadelphia, off we went to the Barnes and Noble wedding aisle! Not surprisingly, this was the first book that caught Tasha's eye:
...I mean, one GIANT wedding checklist?! --Tasha was in checklist heaven. She stared at it for three minutes, leafed through it for another ten minutes, and then finally tapped me on the shoulder and held it up with a gleeful "victory!!" smile on her face.
I nodded. "That's great, honey."
She nodded, and smiled even wider! (Alright, as much as this wedding planning thing scares me, it's super cute how excited she gets when you let her run free in wedding-planning-mode.)
"We need more books. Look for more books."
By the time we were done with the wedding aisle, our hands were full of books. Wedding planners, wedding organizers, wedding checklists, how-to guides, do-it-yourself guides, wedding-on-a-budget books (are there weddings that are not on a budget?), the works. We lugged about 20 books over to a table, bought some coffee and got to work.
But very quickly, our enthusiasm hit somewhat of a brick wall. What, for example, would you expect to find in a book like this?
a.k.a. The Pink Wedding Nightmare
(80% of books in the wedding aisle)
Pink and white. The perfect, traditional wedding - the best day "of our life". The bride and the groom, the three bridesmaids and three groomsmen, the father walking the bride down the aisle and no room for even a different religion, let alone a blend of two cultures or two brides. A super-detailed approach to a super-standard wedding. It's kind of sad, because for the first time, I felt like there was a huge club of brides, and I was left out. Yeah, I wanted to be part of the club. I wanted a section that applied to me. I didn't want to buy a book with constant reminders that my wedding didn't fit the traditional mould, or with sections that I would have to disregard (for example "The Groom Pages - make sure you tear these pages out and hand them to Your Man!"). How can 80% of books in the wedding aisle be some variation of this cookie-cutter nonsense that probably "fits" less than 30% of the brides in Philadelphia?
I'm sorry - do I sound a little bitter? Okay, okay, I'll stop.
We decided to look at something more general. A book with some basic principles, that could be applied to any wedding. Cue the Simple Stunning Wedding Organizer:
a.k.a. Weddings Made Easy - A Little Too Easy
(10% of books in the wedding aisle)
Choosing A Photographer in three steps. Creating A Menu in seven steps. Six items on the picking-a-dress list. Oh, and the "how to plan your honeymoon" checklist in the back.
Hm. In a way, this was worse than the uber-standardized super-detailed pink book. They want me to pay $32.59 for this?? Anyway, let's address the elephant in the room here - we're gay. Aren't there any gay wedding books?
a.k.a. How To Be Gay: It's Hard But Okay.
(3% of books in the wedding aisle)
Unfortunately, these books were also kind of a failure for us. They basically amounted to the following:
1. It's Okay To Be Gay: chapters devoted to convincing the reader that gay people can get married, and it does happen. I'm confused. Isn't the reader already engaged, or at the very least already interested in getting married? Why is there so much convincing?
2. Being Gay Is Tough:
- How to tell your family, and how to be okay with Aunt Sally or Uncle Jim rejecting you (I feel like this should be pretty personal and not easily explained in a how-to guide, because there are so many different kinds of families!)
- How to be okay with some vendors turning you down because you're gay (okay, I get it, it can be depressing. Any actual advice?)
- How to create your own wedding ....well, more like an affirmation that "it's okay to have a non-traditional wedding" - which is nice to hear, but not too useful.
3. Gay People Turn Out Okay: Success stories of gay people being happy that they got married.
Hm. We don't really need a counseling session on how it's okay to be gay. Can't we just find some advice on how to create things that are a little..."different"? - Cue the Do-It-Yourself books!
a.k.a. How To Have Fun And Add A Personal Touch
(7% of books in wedding aisle)
Now this was more like it! 40 fun little projects. We got so many ideas! And I started to actually get pretty pumped about the wedding. How to make a canopy, cute Save-The-Date cards, name cards for the reception, wedding favors to give the guests - really fun stuff. And, thank goodness, none of it was "traditional" persay and none of it was ridiculous. Winner!
...And we also settled on purchasing a larger version of Tasha's "Bride Book Of Lists" books - with really detailed advice on picking a photographer, venue, caterer, music, rings, hair salon, wedding dress, groom's tux (yep, that part is a little useless, but oh well! the rest is awesome!) - when to start looking, what to look out for, what questions to ask, what to consider and how to put it all together. This binder/book seems pretty perfect - for us, at least. It's a little traditional, but very flexible, and most of all, it makes it look fun without making it look crazy. Can't wait to get started!
The one we chose!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Oh, internet! How you consume me!
Posted by Tasha
It's a snow day! And I have a list of things to do (nothing new) and I got in bed with my work computer and my play computer and without intending to... I clicked on some targeted ad (from Facebook of all places!) and started looking at wedding dresses.
In the hours of my 'research', I realized that having a wedding that strays even slightly from the norm, is really hard to organize IF you can't picture it.
The first task really is to picture the wedding. Unfortunately, that's where I'm having lots of trouble. A Hindu-Jewish-Russian-Indian Lesbian wedding isn't something I can muster up an image for with the snap of my fingers. So I set out to search the abyss of the internet to get some ideas... But I could look for days, and weeks, and months, and still not really come to anything solid. Still, slowly with some pictures (many pasted below), picking bits and pieces of the internet, and most importantly talking to Tigritza, images come to mind.
Try to follow my wild stream of consciousness -
Try to follow my wild stream of consciousness -
<-- Possible wedding dress style?
I found this on www.ideeli.com by Nicole Miller: the "Strapless Flowy Gown." (Could she get any more vague?) ...I think this would look really nice next to Tigritza's sari because of the one-shoulder strap and the knots in the middle. But it doesn't look regal enough - it's too long and simple; kinda like a fancy nightgown. And I'm thinking about adding some red or gold to my white dress...
...I like the idea of using some of Tigritza's sari material as a ribbon on my dress (image from http://bridestea.com/?p=1170) I have been looking at blogs and random sites non-stop today. I find this couple really cute! There are tons of blogs about interracial or multi-cultural couples and I think those are really the most beautiful. I get so excited about the different traditions we can take from Judaism and Hinduism. Blending the two in a ceremony symbolizes the joining of our families, cultures, and backgrounds. Neither of us are religious but the traditions matter.
Another time-consuming endeavor: I started looking at bridesmaids dresses. Ideally I want the bridesmaids to wear something out of the ordinary that has origins from both cultures. This sari/dress mix is pretty damn cool - I actually like the first of the two dresses better but I like the blended style in the latter. Colors are a-whole-nother conversation. Shorter dresses for bridesmaids would probably be more fitting too.
Anyway, I spent toooo much time looking at some other styles of bridesmaid dresses: Seriously Tasha have you lost your mind? Yes I have. The first 5 dresses on the page are ugly at first but what attracted me to them was the style - it's really an Indo-Western blend! Still maybe they are better fit for a traveling circus...
In all the wedding guides or lists of things to do first, second, and third, the absolute first is securing a venue. Of course we have been putting this off but today I started looking (and quickly quit because it's harder than I thought). I'm picturing an almost gothic cathedral (minus the religious affiliation) - Philly actually has some very old and beautiful buildings, like our University's libraries and museums. I'm essentially imagining a castle with a beautiful lawn and a balcony in the middle of a city - don't I have a great imagination?
Then I looked at wedding toppers, you know the ones that go on top of a cake: this sari topper is the closest thing I found to half of something I'd use -- and I don't like it at all! But I found some sites that would do personalized wedding toppers for about a million dollars... Don't think we really care about wedding cake toppers too much but it popped up somewhere in my google search and I went with it.
The moral of the story regarding today's search: I couldn't even find something Indian-American (forget about Indian-Russian) and triple-ly forget about adding the gay thing in there! Wedding planning for even a slightly 'different' wedding is actually pretty damn hard - although I found some cool alternative sites: http://offbeatbride.com/ which gave me some ideas I never had like - crazy cake vs typical cake (I know, there are enough atypical things about our wedding - why add to the chaos right?)
Then I looked at wedding toppers, you know the ones that go on top of a cake: this sari topper is the closest thing I found to half of something I'd use -- and I don't like it at all! But I found some sites that would do personalized wedding toppers for about a million dollars... Don't think we really care about wedding cake toppers too much but it popped up somewhere in my google search and I went with it.
The moral of the story regarding today's search: I couldn't even find something Indian-American (forget about Indian-Russian) and triple-ly forget about adding the gay thing in there! Wedding planning for even a slightly 'different' wedding is actually pretty damn hard - although I found some cool alternative sites: http://offbeatbride.com/ which gave me some ideas I never had like - crazy cake vs typical cake (I know, there are enough atypical things about our wedding - why add to the chaos right?)
Anyway, it's been a long day of procrastinating and thinking about the wedding... at the end I just want a really beautiful big party! (Don't we all...)
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